Today I did something tremendously unusual. I went to visit a professional who attended to my bodily needs – and this visit did not involve any pain, it did not involve any needles, it did not involve anyone saying, “Just a little prick!” and then hurting me horribly, it did not involve any IVs or drugs or radiography (and evenlarger needles … “Sorry! Just had to push through your abdominal wall … can’t get any local that deep!”), or having my vital obs taken, or tablets or alcohol smell oranything.
I went to the hairdresser. It was so mundanely normal I am tearing up even as I type about it. I’ve been growing my hair back for a year now (the last lot of chemo thinned my hair but it didn’t leave me bald, thank God) and it has grown back a disastrous mouse colour and in a tight patch of unruly evil curls. I am going to kill the next person who rattles on about how lovely curls are. I don’t give a damn. They are cancer curls and they are vile. Anyone who has cancer and who has been ravaged by treatment can’t wait until they start to get ‘normal’ back – and thus my hair. Over the past 6 months I’ve been too ill to make it the 3 blocks to the hairdresser (and that’s too short for a taxi to want to take me) but today Chemo Bitch* managed to get down there … and the normal me came home.
Gone are the evil curls. Gone is the horrid greying mousy thatch. Back is the wavy-haired soft blonde me. I keep going to the mirror and looking. I can’t believe it. That’s me. Looking normal.
I was so amazed, and so normalized, that I immediately went out and weeded half the bog garden’s path. (Which is more gardening than I have managed in about 8 months.)
The poor garden. It has suffered but not too horribly. It needs a good weed. It needs attention. It will get it, I hope, in little bits over the winter. While I am, hopefully, going through a ‘normal’ stage.
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*Chemo Bitch is a superhero. 🙂 Spangly tights and all. I save the world from evil medics who can’t get an IV in the first attempt. I can take out consultants with a single snarl.
ChemoBitch saves the day again!!! Hoorah!!! You go get those weeds, girl, and don’t forget to swish those lovely blonde locks whilst you are at it.
Curls are only lovely to those that don’t have them. The rest of us suffer; daily trying to tame them into less of a frightwig look.
sounds like good medicine
Sara, I am so happy you had a good trip to the hairdresser. I don’t know what else to say except I am happy that you are happy.
Best wishes and next time don’t leave it so long between making yourself feel beautiful again.
As I said before, I am more than willing to help for an hour or two in the garden, just let me know.
You made me smile this morning dear Sara. So glad you are feeling “normal” again. It all gets a bit tedious doing those rounds at the docs, hey? Keep thinking “happy thoughts”…Cherie
That’s Fantastic.. There is nothing like a trip to the hairdressers to make one feel better!
Chemobitch thanks so much for making me smile! I can only imagine how it is for you. It is great to have so much support dont do as I do use it..okay enjoy if you can the offers it is a lesson I have to begin to learn. I would have been happy to drive you to the hairdressers.
yey sara,
it is just wonderful that you can do some pampering at the hairdessers that many of us take for granted. I worry that as an individual I can do nothing to help ease your pain. All I can do is join the cheersquad of followers who cheer your every triumph over illness and feel folorn knowing that many days are so very hard for you.
mwahs 4 eva
Congrats on being able to get into the garden! I know how I feel when mine is neglected!
Chemo Bitch sounds like an awesome title for a comic book series. 🙂
Sara,
I am so glad you felt well enough to pamper yourself for a short time. I hope you are able to do these kind of things more frequently. I hope you can keep a happy spirit in your life and keep the Chemo Bitch in her place. I think about you often and wish I lived closer so that I also could offer drives to appointments etc. I will continue to read your face book page and be a small part of your life through short messages.
Good health to you and thank you for all your fantastic books.
Anna
So glad to hear about your successful trip to the hairdresser and that you are feeling more yourself!
Long live Chemo Bitch (she says, sporting a couple of dot bandages where attempts were made to insert a cannula today). Can we see a photo of the new you?
My hair was left very thin after chemo as well but I was just so glad to have hair that it is okay just the way it is.
So glad you had such a good day, keeping you in my heart and prayers…..:-) Hugs
A very high five to Chemo Bitch from waaaaaaaaaaay across the pond- best wishes for many more good hair days!!
I love to go for a hairdressing. It is such a Great Massage of the Mind (at least for me). I am really happy that you made the trip. Talk to you later. Take care. Love, Mariana
So good to hear you enjoyed your visit to the hairdresser’s and weeding your garden.
I’m so happy that you did something ‘normal’! Getting rid of those ‘evil curls’ was a great idea and I’m glad that it made you feel a bit better.
Sending you ‘comforting hugs’ from the other side of Australia.
Rosemary
Just signed into your blog (first time I’ve ever blogged) to let you know what an incredible person you are. I am caring for my mother who has had a stroke and I realize the burden you bear feeling you have to be “happy and carefree” for everyone else. Your books have sustained me through many a scarey day and night. I’m glad you are able to enjoy the small pleasures of normalcy and if I can repay you in any way please let me know. Brenda
Dear Chemobitch ..please visit my hospital and spit your venom on the nurse..2 tries and the anaesthetist, 5 goes , for a simple ct scan…my arms are black and purple. I am off for another jab for my INR.
Laughter is the best medicine they say…but sometimes we all need something a little stronger!
How are you doing, Sara? I hope your still having plenty of ‘normalized’ days and less of chemo days. I also hope you are able to get out to your beloved garden and catch some glorious winter sun.
Today is a beautiful sunny day in Melbourne after a rather chilly zero this morning, so I’m catching up on some outside jobs, that is, painting an old but lovely standard lamp and some picture frames. I found it quite therapeutic, just daydreaming away whilst sanding and painting..no distractions to be had.
Take care and thinking of you..Cherie x
Well Sara
I know exactly how you feel. When I had chemo I was left in two days…with tuffty whisps of hair in patches.I was deverstated as all my life my hair was my “crowning beauty”. I missed it so badly. I sat on the bed for a day just rocking, not crying, rocking. I couldnt do anything. I decided that bald was beautiful, so shaved my head. I also planned and held a “Tart Up” party where the girls would make me up and put different hats, scarves etc that I could wear. I had photos done and posted them on FAcebook and Myspace for everyone to see and choose which look was best.
I was very lucky as I had a few friends who loved my bald head and would pat it like a Budda’s belly.
You are so right, a lot of my friends were more comfortable chatting on FB than seeing me. But I also had a few friends that would fuss around and clean the sink, cook a meal or just come and get me out of the house.
I have always wondered what they would do, and who would stick around if I had terminal cancer.
Thanks for creating this space, thanks for helping me to understand why I was feeling the way I did, thanks for a whole lot of things actually 🙂
Wendy
People couldnt understand why I was so excited to get my first hair cut, although I did like my curls, I had them as a young child and always wished they would come back 🙂
Wendy